"How many times have you been in love? Like really love, pain flowing through your body as fast as how blood circulate in you. How you want to die, how you end up hurting yourself. You tried so hard to salvage, to maintain, to hold on, to do everything you can, to sacrifice and make everything right. Its all in... You have no guarantee of the result, you know? To go through those torture, those pain you get when you got nothing even though that was your best shot. That's the first stage.

What's stage 2? You adapt, all the sudden change, no morning text, nobody to tell you your day will be fine eventually, no late night movie, no lazing sunday together. Sitting on the same couch just that nobody scoot over to you. You become lonely, but meanwhile you grew stronger. But not immune yet, every single time you heard the name and you start panicking, preparing yourself checking if he/she is nearby.. You tear whenever you look at the same photograph, you know it hurts but you still look at it, cause that's the only thing you can keep. You can only keep everything to yourself.

Sitting at the cafe we used to go, order the food we like the most but the only difference is you are the one gaining the extra pound cause nobody's sharing it with you, you feel alone. You're no longer as cheerful, no longer confident. You eat slowly, picturing the past and slowly tears flow down. But each time, you tear lesser. Days, weeks, months passed by and you do the same routine over and over again. Its not hurting as much, but you still miss and stuck in the misery. The biggest question, called "Why?"

No point living there, all your friends tell you that.. Slowly, you try to light up a little, and it only increase day by day. You got attention from all the people around because they got attracted to your original self, the one who is wearing a smile to the same cafe, the positive vibe you carry. You live on a quote everyday "Don't ask why it ended, just smile because it happened" Yeah, that makes you reminisce and you think of those happy times. At least you had those moments before, tell yourself be contented. Stage 2's so long, it took so long.. Well, at least it makes you feel way better right now.

Taking baby steps to the 3rd Stage... You go out more often, party with girlfriends, stay over, outgoing self is back! Time for? Dating! Yes dating, go on a date, or even dates.. Choose another one worth your time, or another one that you feel comfortable with. Nobody's rushing you, nobody wanna remind you of the pain so hush hush, don't be afraid. On days alone, you look back and think "Hey that's quite a rough road but you got over, you are better" Yeah you start to impress yourself, and chuckle a little how much fuss you made back then when you were back in Stage 1.

Moving on to Stage 4.. Enjoying the company of your date, wanting to take it slow, needing more time, but its okay cause nobody's rushing you. Even your date understands you better, which makes you even more comfortable and happier in love. You are looking forward to everyday now, looking forward to a better happier life that awaits you. Its as if like it's the right one now, but you never let your walls down easily ever again. Its still firm, poor date. After all, who wants themselves to get hurt?

You are holding back cause you are afraid that whenever you hear the name, you still get adrenaline rush, whenever you hear she/he is in trouble you get worried, whenever she/he is calling, you have the temptation to pick up, whenever you see her/him you just wanna give a big tight hug, whenever she/he surprises you out of nowhere, you melt. You are afraid that you get soft-hearted despite she/he leaving you in a whole room filled with "Whys" That's why you are not giving 100% into the new date,  caught in the middle, fifth stage

It's impossible to totally not have feelings for the someone you used to care so much, but all you know its that... It will all fade away, someone new WILL step into your life to make you love like you've never gotten hurt before. You won't be afraid anymore, and this time when you are giving it all out cause you are definitely sure." Once bitten, twice shy 

xx layout